It is not long since we had Valentines Day, what an amazing day of sharing love.
We aim to share this day with someone who we love.
It is supposed be a very happy, bright, kind day for everyone. But you have probably noticed not everyone is so keen to celebrate this day. As of my colleagues summed up it, “ It just reminds me that I am alone, nobody loves me”. So with that kind of attitude you can see, that some of us have been more miserable than normal. But is it the right thing to do? Is this how it has to be?
I would like to quote a story about Buddha and angry man, which many of you are familiar with, however brilliantly shows what I would like to say.
“One day, the Buddha and a large following of monks and nuns were passing through a village. The Buddha chose a large shaded tree to sit beneath so the group could rest awhile out of the heat. He often chose times like these to teach, and so he began to speak. Soon, villagers heard about the visiting teacher and many gathered around to hear him.
One surly young man stood to the side, watching, as the crowd grew larger and larger. To him, it seemed that there were too many people traveling from the city to his village, and each had something to sell or teach. Impatient with the bulging crowd of monks and villagers, he shouted at the Buddha, "Go away! You just want to take advantage of us! You teachers come here to say a few pretty words and then ask for food and money!"
But the Buddha was unruffled by these insults. He remained calm, exuding a feeling of loving-kindness. He politely requested that the man come forward. Then he asked, "Young sir, if you purchased a lovely gift for someone, but that person did not accept the gift, to whom does the gift then belong?"
The odd question took the young man by surprise. "I guess the gift would still be mine because I was the one who bought it."
"Exactly so," replied the Buddha. "Now, you have just cursed me and been angry with me. But if I do not accept your curses, if I do not get insulted and angry in return, these curses will fall back upon you—the same as the gift returning to its owner."
The young man clasped his hands together and slowly bowed to the Buddha. It was an acknowledgement that a valuable lesson had been learned. And so the Buddha concluded for all to hear, "As a mirror reflects an object, as a still lake reflects the sky: take care that what you speak or act is for good. For goodness will always cast back goodness and harm will always cast back harm."”*
So when you say to someone “I love you” whose love do you feel? This person or yourself? Of course it's your own! But if this person will not accept your love, whose rejection do you feel? Again it's your own!
You can see now to be loved, you need to first feel your own love. So simple, but why do so many people have problem with this idea?
How many times have you beaten yourself for eating chocolate? How many times did you scold yourself saying that you could this much better? How many times did you look in the mirror with feelings of anger, disappointed and of hatred? How many times did you say you don't deserve love and happiness? How you can expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself first?
It's such a blessing to know that the only love you need it's the one within you. This means, you need to love yourself more!
So no more self beating, scolding, disappointing, hatred ect.
Now is time to start love yourself!
Whenever you going passed by the mirror, stop and look in your eyes and say “I love you” with truly meaning. Make this as a habit.**
Yes… you may feel resistance. You may even don't want to look at yourself! You may want to cry or shout!
This indicates feelings of unworthiness are present. No matter, that's only means there is work to be done! As you practice, you will overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity.
The meditation I want to share with you today can help you with it too.
Instead of looking for love outside of you, look within. You won't know when, you start feeling better about yourself. You will have more respect to yourself. You will meet new people who are kind and loving. As well as those who are in your life already, will show you even more love. And those, let say, who are annoy you, they will just simply no longer bother you, they will change attitude towards you, or will disappear from your life because you no longer accept this behavior.
When you love yourself, you are kind to yourself. You eat healthier, you exercise not because you hate yourself and you can't stand looking at yourself anymore in the mirror. But you love yourself, this is the way you take care of yourself and you know you will feel better, healthier, stronger and happier - both physically as well as mentally!
When you love yourself you make better choices.
When you love yourself you surround with loving environment and with people who will show the same attitude towards you.
So if you want to feel love start from loving yourself and spread this feeling with others and love will come back to you like bumerang.
Today I would love to share with you amazing The Buddhist “LOVING KINDNESS” Meditation.
I have been taught this meditation during my Reiki course. I found it very helpful to clear my heart and mind from resentment, anger, disappointment and fulfill with love and kindness. It helps encourage me to love myself as well as freeing me from negative thought patterns, regarding forgiveness and letting go.
I hope it will help you too.
Remember - the words are powerful but intention is even more. To help to arouse feelings of loving kindness and bring right intention, imagine yourself or the other person being joyful, smiling at you and the happiness is backing to you during meditation.
Sit comfortably on the chair. Take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and to bring attention to what you aim to do. Place your hands on the laps or put them in gassho (hands put together in front of your chest in praying position) and repeat following sentences 1 - 5, filling up the dots in this order with:
- someone`s name respected, beloved - such as a spiritual teacher;
- someone's name very close to you - which could be a close family member or friend;
- someone's name you feel natural toward - somebody you know, but have no special feeling towards, e.g.: a person who serves you in a shop;
- someone's name who has hurts you or who you feel negative towards
May … be filled with loving kindness
May … be well
May … be peaceful and at ease
May … be happy
May … be free of suffering
This meditation it can takes as little as 5 minutes or as long as you need. So make it as a rutinue, e.g. in the morning before you start a day. It can change your life forever!
Love and light
*By Sarah Conover, From Kindness: A Treasury of Buddhist Wisdom for Children and Parents (Condra Enterprises, 2005).
** Louise Hay “You can heal your life”